Mixie Picks of 2014

It's that time of year again! The season of gift giving and overall appreciation is upon us and I have chosen my top, most-appreciated picks of the year to share with you!  Some of these things have to do with singing but a lot of them are just things that I think made me an overall better teacher, performer or person this year (even if several of my favorites weirdly had to do with elaborate murder plots...! Hmmm.... #2014)

****Edited**** I forgot to include my favorite song when I wrote this post and HAD to go back to include it.  My favorite song performance... no 16 BAR PERFORMANCE of the year was an excerpt from It All Fades Away from Bridges of Madison County performed by Stephen Pasquale.  This absolutely broke my heart for a full weekend.  To hear the 16 bars, go to minute 2:30 in this video.  It's one emotionally loaded syllable that will break your heart.  Then listen to the whole song.



AND NOW MY LIST OF THE YEAR!

1. Heathers: The Musical:   I know I've already talked about this one in a previous entry but this show was by far
my favorite thing to see this year.  This is what great musical theater is all about.  The songs were motivated, the lyrics were hysterical and character driven, and the melodies were memorable... and it confirmed that I have the sense of humor of a teenage boy.  If you're not familiar with this one I highly suggest giving the soundtrack a listen as it's very easy to follow even if you haven't seen it.

2. Once Upon a Time :  I have to be honest, I don't remember the entire month of October because whenever I wasn't working I was watching Once Upon a Time on Netflix.  I love this show. It's like a cross between LOST, Desperate Housewives and Into the Woods.   I particularly respect the acting work of the actress who plays the Evil Queen, Lana Parrilla, because she makes an evil character totally likable which I find fascinating. If you're a theater person and you liked LOST you have to try this one.

3. Wingspan Arts: Wingspan is a non-profit organization that offers after-school and summer theatre programs for kids. A lot of these kids depend on Wingspan to provide them with a creative outlet as many of them aren't exposed to theatre programs via their own schools.  This summer I saw a production of Just So and it was by far the best youth production I've ever seen.   I could not believe what I was seeing and hearing from these kids; it blew my mind.  It inspired me to push my own young students a little harder whether they be professional or hobbyists because it's insane what kids are capable of, really.   To support or read more about Wingspan, go here.

4. Pace University's production of Light in the Piazza: You guys, college theater is better than ever.  Think about going to see a local college production of a show because even if the production value isn't Broadway-budget-high, a lot of times these students are professional level if not already professionals, and they really care about the product which makes a HUGE difference.  I'm feeling inspired to see more college theatre after seeing The Light in the Piazza at Pace University (maybe I'm biased but I thought it was better than the Broadway production).

5. Healing Crystals:  If you know me personally you know I'm not necessarily a worry-wart but I'd say I'm just a serial care-er. I care way too much about everything.  Somehow these crystals have seemed to lower life's stakes for me and now I carry them around almost 100% of the time in some form whether they be incorporated into my jewelry or just in my wallet.  My favorites are Smoky Quartz and Aqua Aura.  Smoky Quartz is supposed to make you "let things go" more easily and Aqua Aura is supposed to protect you from caring too much about what other people think... two things that I have difficulty with.  I buy mine at a store called Rock Star.

6.  Rice Experiment : If you have not seen this video, take a look. It changed my thinking in a big way and will probably change yours too.


7. Sweeney Todd in Concert: - Oooh, I loved this.  It's still taking up 50% of my DVR and I don't even care.  The opening alone was worth tuning in for and I really loved Emma Thompson's take on Mrs. Lovett.  And, if you ask me, this is a great example of how it really doesn't matter how well the person sings if it's motivated.  She's not vocally perfect but every vocal choice was borne out of acting choices which I think is something we don't see very often.  Very special performance.

8. Iain the Theatre Reviewer:  What could be better than seeing that a kid enjoyed a piece of theatre?  After reading endless angry tweets made by adults about various casting choices, lack of talent, etc. this is the kind of review we should all be satisfied to hear.  Iain simply summarizes the show, tells us what he loved and tells us what we'll gain by seeing the production.  Theatre is a magical thing and this kid sees it that way and encourages us to see it that way, too.  If you have not seen his review of Peter Pan Live, search for that, too!


9. The Pollen Forecast on Weather.com- Apparently allergies have been more of an issue this year than any other year.  Being an allergy novice and highly agitated by the amount of times I have to clear my throat on an hourly basis, I recently discovered the pollen forecast provided by Weather.com! This tells me how high the pollen count is on any given day, and sometimes when I'm not feeling great or not singing my best I don't have to wonder if it's allergies; I can just check!  It basically warns me when I need to remember to take my Allegra and it makes me feel better when I can't sing as high as usual.

10. Chandelier - Sia: I think this was a unanimous favorite this year.




Bonus #11.  Trader Joe's Gluten Free Pizza: I couldn't not include this on my list. I find it hilarious that last year I was all about diet food and this year my favorites list includes a pizza.  But this is a new pizza from Trader Joes, it's gluten free, it actually tastes GOOD and it's $5.   Bam.  Dinner.







Well there you have it! These were my top picks this year!  Musicals and TV shows about the murders of ultimate nemeses, pollen, pizza and healing crystals for the road to recovery! What made your 2014???

Happy Holidays, everybody!
Jen

The Holy Grail of Singing: Vibrato (New Quick Fix Video!)

Today we're going to talk about the mystical, elusive creature of the Enchanted Singing Forest which we call Vibrato.

Vibrato can come naturally to some, but finding vibrato can be a very frustrating task for others.  Before we set out on our quest and get a quick video tutorial fix, let's learn a little about it! 

Where the hell did vibrato come from?

The man responsible for your vibrato woes

Vibrato was first introduced in the early 1800's by an Italian singer named Giovanni Battista Rubini.  He was known not only for this new trick but also for having an extraordinarily high range. While he was praised for his use of vibrato to heighten emotion in his performance, copy-cat performers were considered offensive, and vibrato was then seen by the pros as a way to disguise poor technique, aging and lack of support. 

**Food for thought: Rubini had been a violinist since age 12 and string players made their vibrato debut some 50 years prior.  Perhaps this was his inspiration to incorporate it into his singing in his 20's!  

As of right now, we're not 100% sure what creates vibrato and this adds to the frustration experienced by vibrato-seekers, but we do know that you have to be relaxed to produce it and that it comes from an "undulation" of the vocal folds, meaning they're being tossed around.  Another morsel for your brain: Vibrato-haters considered vibrato an indication that the singer was TOO relaxed and not using enough "support."  However, it's highly probably that the reason Rubini had such a notably high range was because he was, in fact, relaxed!  Relaxed enough to produce... vibrato!   

Let's just briefly talk about why we're so stressed about not having vibrato:

Why do we even like vibrato?
Well, Rubini was using it to show emotion, so this is perhaps how we've come to see vibrato even to this day- as an expression of emotion.  In addition to my explorations regarding vibrato I've also been exploring Taan which is the vocal trill we hear in a lot of Indian music!  In one interview of a Hindustani singer she mentioned that it is used as a "beautifying effect."  So, it would seem that globally we just recognize rapid, deliberate pitch change as something that makes music more aesthetically pleasing: vibrato, taan, finger vibrato for string instruments, even riffing could be put in this category!  Is this why we freak out about it when we can't do it?  If we don't have vibrato, the whole world thinks we're ugly and emotionless?  This got me googling.  

How Does Vibrato Happen and What Should it Feel Like? 

I've been reading about a study being done at The University of Missouri that aims to find a cure for vocal tremor disorders by investigating the differences between taan gestures which is considered voluntary and vibrato which is considered involuntary.  If you want to see more about that study watch this video. 

From the study: On a spectrogram, Taan Gesture is seen at left; Vibrato is seen at right.  They show taan as very drastic pitch changes and fast.  Vibrato is slower and pitch change is less drastic. 

For the purposes of the study, one Hindustani singer and one Opera singer are asked to describe the act of initiating and sustaining taan or vibrato, and the Opera singer describes vibrato as a "spinning" feeling.  This is a typical response to that question.   The question I had was whether someone without extensive training who could produce vibrato would have had a different response.  I think that's a word we think we SHOULD use because we're not sure how to explain it even when we CAN do it,  I sure don't feel anything actually spinning and I wouldn't even say it's involuntary for me!   (Side note, I thought to myself that it's kind of like peeing.  You know how to start peeing, you can turn it on and off, but you can't explain it, really. And I just googled whether peeing is voluntary or involuntary and it says that that's still not clear and one thought is that it's a voluntary relaxation.  Hmm... sound familiar?) 

So I decided to ask a few people who are new to vibrato and wouldn't have the vocabulary of a trained classical singer. Here are some of the responses I received to give you a general idea of what you could be feeling when you strike gold:

Sarah - (learned as an adult) : "I feel a regular oscillation at the back of my throat as well as in the top of my abs... I engage a driving muscular support from the top of my abs just below where my ribs come together. Doing exercises to mimic vibrato helped my body learn how much to engage some muscles and how much to relax others."
Amelia, Age 8 (learned by copying a friend):    "Vibrato is holding a long note while shaking your vocal cords. It kind of feels like a wave in your throat. "

So now that we know a little about vibrato (or now that I've scared the hell out of you), take a look at my latest video and try this quick fix so you, too, can capture your own natural vibrato and ride off into the sunset!  Comment in the comments section and let me know if it works for you!

Pumpkin Spice Lattes = Time to Drink Water

Ah, the irony of this picture.

So when I was in college I was told I have a hole in my heart.  (How's that for an introductory sentence?)  It's nothing serious, apparently.  In fact, the doctor who told me basically made it sound like I just had something as benign as the common cold.  And he said it can be caused by dehydration.  That made sense to me since I hadn't had a glass of water since 1992.

Today's post is about dehydration... and the catalyst for this post was the fact that yesterday I heard that dreaded sound that we all know and love; the heat in my building was turned on. Fall is in the air my friends! Starbucks might be serving your seasonal fave but it's time to buy a Poland Spring.

If you've never lived in NYC you may not know what it's like to live in an apartment where you cannot control the thermostat.  It's pretty wretched.

Here is a snapshot of what our lives are like:
October 1st through May 31st is "Heat Season" in New York City. Building owners are also required to provide tenants with heat as follows: 

• Between the hours of 6:00 AM and 10:00 PM, if the outside temperature falls below 55 degrees, the inside temperature is required to be at least 68 degrees Fahrenheit; and, 
• Between the hours of 10:00 PM and 6:00 AM, if the temperature outside falls below 40 degrees, the inside temperature is required to be at least 55 degrees Fahrenheit.

Let me assure you, the temperature is DEFINITELY higher than 55F. Many of us (myself especially) live with open windows all winter.  And the higher you live, the hotter it is.  Since heat rises, you can expect that if you live on the 6th floor like I do, you will boil.  To death.  All winter.  Cozy, you might say?  No.  From the very moment I hear that steam sound coming from the heater I

Curses! 7 more months of this crap! 

start to curse the day I was born and everybody I know, and I count the days until Spring on a calendar on which I cross out each little day with my own blood.  Dramatic? Ok maybe.  I've been watching Once Upon a Time a lot.  But anyway, it's rough!  And not good for our voices!  It's dry as hell!



I did an unintentional experiment this summer with a basil plant I bought from Trader Joes.  Truth be told, I don't have a green thumb.  But take a look at this:

It took 1 DAY for this to happen. It's the same plant.  Water is a powerful (magical) thing.
Just briefly to be nerdy for a second, your vocal cords are not vital organs which means that they're not the first to get water.  If my HEART wasn't even getting water, you can imagine how crusty and dry my vocal cords were. 

I have a friend who insists on drinking 5 Liters of water a DAY. I followed her lead and the first day  it took me a full day to finish one bottle. Now that I'm used to it I can drink 1 liter in under 5 minutes and want more.  I never knew what THIRSTY felt like.  All these years I thought I was HUNGRY or just had a MIGRAINE.  Meanwhile I was probably severely dehydrated.

During the wintertime it's really important for us to hydrate especially while the heat is on.  Even if we do have the luxury of thermostat control...

Instead of thinking you're going to melt like a Wicked Witch when you come in contact with H20,

• take it in small doses at first.  You don't need to be a hero.  
• when life gives you lemons... use them. it makes drinking water easier because it tastes better. 
• weirdly enough, some bottled water comes from regions where there is higher salt content.  It might be that you don't like SOME water.  Try other brands of bottled water.  I like Smart Water and can't drink one called Volvic because it makes me feel like I swallowed the Atlantic Ocean.  Maybe I was a water sommelier in a past life.

Hm!

How much water do you drink? Do you notice a difference vocally when you're not drinking water?

Animation Voiceover Trickery - Singing and Speaking Voices Provided by Two Separate Artists

Take a listen to Journey to the Past from Anastasia.... and watch the scene leading up to the song, too.    


Notice anything?!  The speaking voice is provided by Meg Ryan... but the singing voice is provided by Broadway vet Liz Callaway. It's so cool how they blend together, isn't it?!  Kind of makes you wonder if that's how Meg Ryan would sing or if she'd sound totally different.  What do you think makes this particular match successful?

The singing voice double has been done for many animated movies, not just Anastasia.  For instance, the voices for Jasmine (Aladdin) and Pocahontas are also provided by Broadway actresses.  Jasmine's singing voice is Lea Salonga and Pocahontas is Judy Kuhn.

Also, Anastasia is available on Netflix!  If you've never seen it, watch it! Bernadette Peters voices a character, too!

Some 1960's Mixing Perfection? I think so!

I think Julie Andrews is a great gateway mixer for those who are working on it!  Listen to the brightness in her legit in the beginning and then the "shouty-ness" in the last 32 bars (2:40).  SO awesome.  And I think even Brit JULIE ANDREWS is capable of the occasional nasalized /i:/.  MY HERO.  Someone we should all be studying.


Julie Andrews -"I Have Confidence In Me"- THE SOUND OF MUSIC - (Subtitulada en español) from Helena Moreno on Vimeo.

How You Could Be Tossing Thousands of Your Hard Earned Dollars into the Vocal Abyss

I've been thinking about this a lot and I think it warrants a post.   Let it be known.  I love a good bargain.  If you know me, there is nothing that excites me more than getting something awesome on sale.  I like to think I inherited this trait from my Irish-Potato-Famine-Escaping-Great-Depression-Enduring ancestors. We'll come back to this later but keep this in mind.

Let it also be known:   I am a Voice Memo addict.  I record everything and everything on my phone.    So I ask all the non-addicts out there this question: 

To record or not to record?! My answer is... record EVERYTHING.  Just record it all.  These are some of the reasons why you are currently not recording your lessons:

• You hate the way you sound on your recordings
• You don't have enough memory or battery life on your phone to record
• You won't listen to it anyway
• You forgot

Reasons Why You Should Record:

• First and foremost, you're wasting your hard earned moula if you're not recording.  Think of it as a Buy 1 Get Infinity Free deal.  You can take this voice lesson an infinite amount of times! I still listen to voice lessons I took in 2008.  They're still and always will be valuable and....
• This is how I track my progress!
• We would be taking notes if we were in any other kind of class.  This is our version of taking notes.  
• Do you know about Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences?  To boil it down very simply, people absorb information differently depending on the way it is presented to them. For example, some people are visual learners; some people are kinesthetic learners; some people are auditory learners, etc.  Remember when you were in school and if the teacher said something you wouldn't remember it but if she wrote it on the board you'd remember? That might mean you were a visual learner. Anyway, the act of taking the voice lesson and singing in that moment is a kinesthetic thing.  You're physically singing and producing that sound. But if you're not a kinesthetic learner and you're an auditory learner like myself,  HEARING the lesson and listening to yourself is a whole other opportunity to absorb that information.  Now your brain has two options to absorb the information:  Do and Listen.  
• Some of us learn better by watching other students work and receive feedback.  This is an opportunity to "watch you work."  Listen objectively as if you were listening to another student.  Think about what you did, what you liked, what you'd do instead, etc., and how you can fix it for next time. 
• Thinking about the lesson is still practice. When I was in college I was living with between 1-3  

  

  My own mother thought this was a picture of me.
  Ma, come on. This is not me. 

  roommates at any given time and it was difficult to find a time to practice when nobody else was home.  I recorded my lessons from beginning to end, listened to all 45m every day on my subway rides and came in to my lessons knowing exactly what I was supposed to do without having uttered a note all week.  I was "practicing" even though I hadn't been singing.  And I was making progress!  
• You may hate the way you sound on the recording but just know that these shitty internal microphones and speakers that we're using every day on our phones are not doing us justice. It's a good way to train ourselves to stop wincing at the sound of our own voices and get over it.  If it bothers you a lot, try recording on two separate devices. Sometimes I bring my computer, too, just to cross reference.  Also, try listening back with earbuds instead of playing it out loud on speakerphone.  That usually helps a LOT and can give you a more accurate representation of how you actually sounded. 
• Bring a charger, sucka!  Just add it to your list of things to bring! Book? Check!  Water? Check! Phone and charger? Check! 
• Listen on the subway.  Great way to multitask. 
• Forgetting to record does suck... but try to make it a habit to record from the second you get there - not at the start of the warmup...even if it means recording the first 5m of the lesson when you're talking about how the subways suck and you're preparing for an agent meeting.  It's so worth it because you won't realize 35m in that you forgot to press record.  

Reasons Why You Should Record the WHOLE Lesson:

• Lots of people do record but they just record the singing parts.  That's great if we're just recording something that's consistently in our vocal bones, but in my mind if we're working on something that we're visiting for technical reasons, the most valuable part of the lesson is the talking leading up to the singing.  What exactly did we say that got you to make that sound?  Because next week when we're not able to find that sound again again and neither of us can remember what we did to get there, we're going to wish we had the recording.  That alone will help you save a ton of money because you'll never have to work on the same thing twice.  
• You may think you understand an instruction from your coach in the moment, but later when you're not distracted by the millions of things going on during the lesson and you listen again, you might have an "Ohhhhh THAT'S what he meant!" moment.  It's like when you're watching your favorite movie for the kazillionth time and you find something you never noticed before.  It's awesome!!! 
• Yes, it might take a lot of room on your phone but you've gotta suck it up and delete some selfies and videos of your drunk friend falling down the stairs to make the room so you can save MONEY.  Say you're spending anywhere from $60-$300 on a voice lesson in NYC... and you only get 45m with that teacher.  Wouldn't you want to prolong that lesson if you could?  Spend "450 minutes" with that teacher and listen to the lesson 10 times this week!  If you weren't reviewing and listening to the lesson on your own time, chances are he'd have to say the same things at your next lesson anyway so you might as well get it for free!  I'm not kidding when I say it KILLS me when we get something sounding awesome in a lesson and then I ask if that was recorded and the answer is no.  

So this, my friends, is why I think everybody should record everything. 

I even have a hard drive dedicated specifically to my voice memos of my old lessons. That's thousands and thousands of dollars worth of vocal instruction that I've got at my fingertips.  Even my college tuition is TANGIBLE because I recorded my entire education!!!  
I even record some of my students' stuff (with permission, of course) because in the same way that I feel you should do this as a student, I do this as a teacher. It's good to go back and self-evaluate and say, "OK How could I have made that more succinct?" "How did we do that?" "What worked/What didn't work?"or even "Wow that was freakin AWESOME !!!"... And now it's not MY lessons anymore that I'm listening to on the subway; it's my students'! 

I have 213 Voice Memos on my phone and over 300 on my computer.  How many do you have????

A Silly Ancient Singing Proverb (that I'm making up right now)

This post/childrens' book for metaphor-appreciating adults is inspired by a class I observed about tension presented by the ever-ridiculously-smart Robert Sussuma.
I was learning from Robert about parasitic tension, meaning tension that comes along for the ride when trying to make certain isolated movements or sounds.  For example, he asked us to raise an arm and to see if the shoulder went up, as well; to see if our necks crunched, etc.  During reflection, he asked what sort of parasitic tensions could come with singing.
__________________________________________________________

Once over a thousand years ago, there was an old master singing teacher, Fa-So-Mi, and he had a young apprentice, La-Ti-Re.    Fa-So-Mi asked of the young apprentice to belt a high Q in the style of Patti LuPone and to sustain the note with tons of vibrato at the end.  Shocked at his master teacher's request, La-Ti-Re gulped with fear, but one is to never disobey his master teacher and La-Ti-Re fulfilled his duty with valiant efforts.  Fa-So-Mi was very pleased and he bowed to his apprentice with delight.  "That was FAAAAAAbulous, La-Ti-Re.  Just faaaaaabulous."  

But La-Ti-Re was not satisfied with his singing.  He quickly ran to his master teacher's fish pond and looked at his reflection in the water. "Oh, but wise master teacher, my face contorted and twisted so!"

And master teacher said, "Ah, yes, but that sound....that beautiful sound..."
___________________________________


Robert's lesson was far more intellectual than my dumb fake proverb but his lesson got me thinking. I was happy to hear someone whose teaching I respect speak about allowing the facial effort (notice I'm saying effort and not tension) for the sake of producing the correct sound because this was something I was saying to my own clients with some hesitation: "Don't worry about the face.  Make the awesome sound; we'll worry about the face later."
But this also got me thinking about how this relates to just life, too, because I'm all about a good metaphor.

Sometimes we want to fulfill our lifelong dreams of "reaching a high Q"... but we find that some ugly, parasitic consequences (whether expected or unexpected)  come with this beautiful, coveted sound.  We can choose to allow the inevitable parasitic issues make us choose not to fulfill that dream after all because the prospect of meeting these parasites is too overwhelming....

OR we can continue to pursue and eventually reach our High Q's in spite of the contorted, ugly faces... and maybe the faces ARE ugly but the High Q is beyond beautiful-- so beautiful that we forget all about the faces. Or maybe we come to learn that the faces are not so bad after all.

Sing the High Q.  Worry about the face later.

Why Heathers is So Very.

The day I have been anticipating for two months has FINALLY come.  The release date of the Heathers soundtrack.  I have been unhealthily obsessed with some of the things that are happening vocally in this show, and now that the recording is available on iTunes I can post about specifics and you can hear what I'm talking about if you haven't/aren't able to hear it for yourself in person.  If the statement is true: "You are what you eat" (look out for my next post about this theory)  and you're having trouble with contemporary Musical Theatre sounds and/or pop/rock sounds in the context of Musical Theatre then you should DEFINITELY be listening to this one.

These are the reasons why I love it:

You can find every single type of contemporary MT voice.  There's high rock belt, classic belt, contemporary chest mix, … there's everything!

Barrett Wilbert Weed (Veronica) is unreal.  There's nothing "mixy" about her voice which is insane to me because not only does she carry an entire show in a VERY vocally demanding role with MANY songs and not get exhausted by the end but I saw it twice… once in March and once in May and she sounded exactly the same two months later. So in the words of Heathers, there's no damage.  In my mind she also kind of epitomizes the word "alto" which I don't feel like we hear a lot of lately especially with young women roles in Musical Theater so that's refreshing to hear, too. We're constantly being asked for the squeakage which is the total opposite.  And you can literally SEE INTO her mouth; her soft palate is always really high so she's definitely not utilizing the whole nasality thing I'm always preaching about… Lower larynx, high soft palate, thick folds… Her stamina is unbelievable.
Listen for specifics.  Listen to the syllables "ful" and "day" and then stop the video at 1:22.



Then listen for "got" "price" "gonna" and "night".  She sounds most resonant on those open vowels.  It's amazing!  Also listen to "Dead Girl Walking" on the soundtrack which is my fave.



Speaking of squeakage, you can then hear Elle Mc Lemore (Heather McNamara) in the second act with Lifeboat which is more of the Elle Woods sound we're more recently accustomed to/being expected to produce.  That's a great example of chest mix.  So listen for that one.

Then there's also Katie Ladner (Martha Dunstock) who comes out of nowhere in the second act with this outrageous voice and shows off some rock belting in last few seconds of her song… on a particularly difficult syllable….so listen to "Kindergarten Boyfriend"

THEN there's my favorite overtone stuff (aka aliens at the studio) which can be heard by a GUY (yes, this blog has guys in it) and there's an awesome example within "Freeze Your Brain."  This is the sound that a lot of guys are looking for when they're approaching the "Jeremy Jordan"...  It's a little difficult to describe but it's like a monotone call or like a flatline at the hospital. But it's not boring to us out here at all.  Take a listen to this example…especially for the word "brain" both times.



 It's got everything we're all working towards in one show.  And it's fun!  And just so you know, there is currently a Groupon out for the show, too… so if you need it here is the link!

Smooth Criminal

Listen to this perfection.  She is SEAMLESS!!! Going back and forth from talking to singing.  And listen to that freakin call at the end!!!!!!  This is what it's about, guys!!!!!!  My obsession will never cease.


 

My First Singing Teacher, Mr. Kristoff.

Tri-M recital 2003

Today is June 7th and it's exactly 10 years ago that one of the people who have had such an influence on me as a singer passed away.  The things that replay in my head from that day are mostly the sounds… the sound of the intercom beep before our principal made the announcement was the most dreadful one that I can still hear in my mind's ear even now... but after 10 years I remember most of all, of course, the sounds that came before June 7th, 2004-- all of the sounds that Dan Kristoff helped us make and the ones he loved and shared with us, all of which have really formed a huge part of my own musicianship.  I think of him whenever I have a victory as a singing teacher and know he'd be proud, and I think of him often when I see a show or hear a soundtrack that I know he would have loved, too.  I had briefly mentioned Mr. Kristoff in a post last year but since today is 10 years and it's his day I want to write a full post just about him because he would have said something if he were around to say it if I didn't write one.  "What about me? I thought this was a singing blog, Bonehead!"  I will also affectionately call this post "Chicks With Dicks: Mr. Kristoff" because I'm sure that's what he would have wanted it called.

"Soprano 101" for me was with Mr. Kristoff… painstakingly trying to imitate his bizarre interpretations of women singing high A flats.  I got the part of Sarah Brown in 9th grade and he understood that I was terrified of the upperclassmen who were circling around like sharks waiting to hear if I could hit the high notes… He let me sing the lower songs in front of them and then when they left it was back to business.  From then on I was cutting class like everybody else to bring my new vocal selections or soundtracks down to his room so I could sing more and more…and he was only so happy to park it at the piano with his Diet Coke to play through the whole book or listen to the whole CD to drool about what sounded awesome, rewind and listen again.  If this man had access to Youtube my general education would surely have been in serious jeopardy.  The first time I ever heard the song "Popular" was via his mini-disc recorder which he snuck into all of the shows he saw so he could play them back for us the next day… and I could picture in my imagination what Kristin Chenoweth was doing just by listening to him snort-laugh through the whole thing.  He shared everything he had with us because he wanted us to love it just as much as he did.

Yes, I'm from a town called Hicksville.  And it's a real place.  No, there aren't cows. 

One of my favorite memories of him was when he was showing this to me (first time I ever knew what Wicked was at all…he taped it on VHS the night before when the cast made an appearance on Letterman and brought it in) and he said that he thought the dance turn the Winkie soldiers do near the end was sexy.  (He was just inappropriate and fun and treated us like people and that's what I loved.





It's because of him that I know how important it is for kids to be able to have a teacher who they know they can trust when they are starting to experiment with expression not just as musicians but as people.  It's because of him that I know that a class can be fun AND productive and that snacks are appreciated (My Monday night Krispy Kreme blueberry donuts are still a favorite pasttime).  It's because of him that I realize that confidence building, a sense of humor and patience (although when was he ever patient?) are 90% of it.   It's because of him that I know that it is most admirable if a teacher has the capacity to put his ego aside and admit he, too, is sometimes still learning and discovering right along with his students.  And sadly, it's because of him that I know that life is too short and we aren't invincible…and that we have to spend our lives doing what we love to do.



He put his blood, sweat and tears (or in his case: excessive spit, sweat and tears) into everything and that's what made him the teacher we loved and sometimes hated, too.  This post doesn't even come close to doing him justice but I know he knows how much I think about everything he did and still does for me.

In honor of Mr. Kristoff today, I post a song/bootleg that I remember hearing/watching for the first time in his classroom from the risers.  He's the one who introduced me to The Last 5 Years and I attribute a lot of the way I sing now to the fact that he let me sing through the song selections book with him so much during his free time.  And again, what would a blog post be without a little Sherie?

How to Sing Louise Dearman's No One Mourns the Wicked

GONNA TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS: NATALIE'S VIDEOS ON RIFFING

My friend Natalie Weiss puts these videos out called Breaking Down the Riffs and I wanted to share one with you because I think everybody should try them.  If they can help me they can help you.  I was never a riffer before I started watching these.  I realized that yes, a big part of it is agility, but it's also because I need things planned out for me and/or I could never hear what notes to choose (and that's a lot of the reason most people can't riff, I think) so it's so, so helpful to have Natalie break it down more slowly!  Try this one… And listen to how I did with it underneath the video in the mp3 I posted.  I don't think I did so bad!!!!





  The Riff I Learned from Natalie's Video:

HOW YOU, TOO, CAN BE MIND BLOWING

Ok, this is my LAST post EVER (I promise) about Frozen. Because ENOUGH ALREADY! It's April!  Jesus!
I saw a Buzzfeed thing that said "Kristen Bell Sings Do You Want To Build a Snowman and It Is Mind Blowing."  So of course I clicked it.  And truthfully, while it was impressive, my mind was not blown.  I will tell you why.  The three voices had a few too many similarities.  Normally I'm harping about not enough common denominators in a voice and this time I'm complaining that there weren't enough variables.  Like I actually bitched about it for a good 2 minutes in my mind.  "THIS is mind blowing!?," I said to no one.

 While my ears knew the answer, the title of this video made me second guess myself and wonder whether she actually voiced all three Anna's in the movie, too… But I was not fooled, my friends, and Wikipedia confirmed my speculation that she did not actually voice Young Anna and Teen Anna.  BUT what Kristen Bell can do with her voice is admittedly pretty cool and enviable so this is how you can blow your own mind with your vocal abilities and do a one-woman Frozen concert even more skillfully than the mind-blower herself:

Here are your choices
Airy, Not Airy, Airy for Vocal inflection on certain words 
Vibrato, No Vibrato,
Young, Old, 
Sweet, Talky.
(*HypoNasal  - see bonus feature)
We have 10 adjectives… and from what I remember from math class… how many combinations can be made? The answer is 100, I think…10x10 is 100.  100 distinct combinations that are not alike and yet Kristen Bell probably accessed maybe 1.5 of those 100 choices. Sheesh!

These are the combos used by the 3 separate voice over artists for the 3 separate characters :
Young Anna = Not Airy, No Vibrato, Young, Sweet, Hyponasal
Teen Anna = Airy, No Vibrato, Old, Talky
Anna = Airy for inflection on certain words, Vibrato, Old, Sweet



Kristen Bell's combos:  (I have marked the repeat characteristics in red)
Young Anna = Not Airy, No Vibrato, Young, Talky
Teen Anna = Not Airy, No Vibrato, Young (same age as herself), Talky, 
Anna = Somewhat Airy, Vibrato, Older (older than herself), Sweet

The combos she chose just have less diversity than what the actual voiceover artists provided….the first and second voices have basically the same recipe... and this is partly because she's only one person, but it IS also something that IS doable so this is why my mind was not "blown."

This is how you can build your own personal vocal snowman and truly make a viral video that will blow the minds of Frozen fans.  Just have awareness of why each voice provided by the actual voice over artists are perfect for each of these characters and how you can sound that way, too:

Age is obvious.  Young, Old and Older.
Let's talk Vibrato.  There are two "species" that don't use vibrato - children and puppets. You'll notice if you ever listen to the recordings of Avenue Q or Spelling Bee, there is little to no vibrato.  It's just the rule. So this is what makes those two younger voices (aside from the fact that they're provided by ACTUAL children and not an adult) sound like kids.  If you notice, Kristen Bell also takes out vibrato in her kid voices which is a win for her!
How about airiness? I'm not sure if this is why Disney chose a raspy voiceover artist but between the ages of 10-14 is when it is said that girls can have growth spurts in the laryngeal area and sometimes the vocal cords won't touch all the way because they're being sort of stretched unevenly… So who knows if someone at Disney was like, "Oh yeah, Teen Anna needs to be breathy because the glottal closure in girls between 10-14 blah blah blah!" or if they just happened to like that sound and I'm overanalyzing.
Sweet or Talky:  Talky sort of denotes boredom, cynicism or toughness and so the littlest Anna is none of those things, therefore she gets Sweet. Teen Anna is probably all of the above so she gets Talky.  And Sweet is what we identify as ingenue voice so adult Anna gets sweet (and sad in this song which are one in the same…= thyroid tilt which we've talked about in previous Frozen entries).

Bonus feature: Hyponasality or Having a cold in your nose: making Young Anna have hypo nasality or a soft palate so high that it makes you sound like you have a cold and your M's turn into B's and your N's turn into D's...  "Do you Wadda Build a Sdowbad"


So there you go! The dissection of Young, Teen and regular Anna.  So when you want to be the jerk who chooses "Do you Want to Build a Snowman" at a Karaoke Bar full of beer bellied dudes on a Thursday night in Washington Heights, you can at least blow their minds with your vocal tricks!

To Infinity and Beyond: The Vocal Ceiling… and How There Isn't One

I pride myself on how rarely people have NBD's (nervous breakdowns) when they visit me for a lesson but of course there will be the occasional teary moment or two because we're all artists and we're emotional people.  It's to be expected… but often times when this brief half-meltdown occurs it's because people are way too hard on themselves.  When I ask what's wrong the response usually starts with, "Sorry, I'm just frustrated with myself because I just can't …"
Think of this video the next time you feel like you'll never be good enough.   I clicked it in the first place so I could have the same "feel good moment" everybody else on social media was having…and then I laughed my ass off at the end and shook my head, "Wow!"

The video shows a mom teaching her baby her first word which was "Happy."  They both laugh hysterically and celebrate the new milestone together…. for all of 1 minute and 31 seconds.  And then do you hear what happens in the last 2 seconds? Just the last 2 seconds.  Hilarious (though I secretly feel as if I have to talk to a therapist about it immediately lol).

None of us will ever be COOKED as singers and I implore you to realize this as we see this poor kid about to meet the harsh reality that "Happy" is not the only word she'd have to learn to get more of that fleeting response.  We're always working on something … whether it's some difficult concept like anchoring or mixing or vibrato; or whether we're trying to get to Broadway, have been on Broadway 10 times or have won a Grammy.  When we hit singing milestones we should celebrate for more than just 1 minute and 31 seconds and take the time to give ourselves the well-deserved pat on the back because we're never going to "graduate singing."  There's always more to learn and more to work on.  Just as there are about 600,000 words in the English dictionary (according to Siri whose only skill is giving consistently incorrect information so don't quote me) , there are probably 600,000 things you can do with your voice as a singer, as well.  Know you're not the only one overwhelmed by the thought of having to keep up with the ever-changing expectations of casting directors, coaches and …yes…sometimes even your mom….  and nobody including your teachers or vocal idols will ever touch the vocal ceiling.  Ever.  So just be happy while you try!


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SOMEDAY MY PRINCE WILL COME …TO LET ME KNOW MY EXPECTATIONS ARE WAY TOO HIGH: Idina's Live Performance of Let It Go

This song is such a hot topic in the MT world right now I couldn't really resist doing another post about this particular performance.

We see funny BuzzFeed pages popping up on our news feeds all the time about how Disney Princesses have been setting us up for disappointment since their incarnation (22 Lies Disney Princesses Told You About Hair, Did Disney Princesses set us up to Fail in our Relationships?  15 Terrible Love Lessons We Learned From Disney Princesses) but let's talk for a second about how Disney's sound editing room gave us unreasonably high expectations for tonight but set us up for major success in the decades to come.  Here's what I mean:

Idina Menzel (otherwise known to John Travolta as Adela Dazeem? WTF)  had to perform "Let It Go" tonight on the Oscars.  Now, we all know she's unbelievably talented and I think anybody in the Musical Theatre community recognizes that this was a really difficult task at hand even without all of the modifications made for TV land.  It's also just common sense that Frozen was a film and, unlike live theatre, voices can be edited to the point that they are basically inhuman.  This is great if you never have to perform the song ever again because the world would hear your most ON performance ever and assume that's how you always sound, but like we just saw a few moments ago, the song was nominated for an award and had to be performed live.  The version we were bound to hear had no chance of surpassing what was done on the retouched recording.  With all factors considered:

• it was faster than usual 
• there were cuts in the music 
• it was probably a track she was singing to? 
• she was using a hand-held mic 
• she said in a few interviews that she was really nervous 
• she had just flown there so she could have been dehydrated 
• the climate was different from NY
• she was wearing an insane outfit and heels
• Meryl Streep was sitting in front of her,

 I would say she did a nice job!  Most of us know what she usually sounds like because we've seen her live before… and we realize how hard that song is to begin with.  That being said, there will still be some A-holes who say it wasn't like the movie so it wasn't good.  Disney gave those people unrealistic expectations because they made the movie version of the song TOO perfect to even come close to live.


Now, as we know, an announcement was made that Frozen will have a Broadway run within the next few years.  Someone is going to have to perform this song live 8 times a week.  The possibility of them needing to lower the song a step or two for consistency sake is quite strong (a la Astonishing for Sutton Foster) but let's think about how this whole auto-tune situation could actually be a good thing in the long run:

Growing up, we listened to and learned to imitate what was available to us.  We painstakingly learned to sing "Take Me or Leave Me," "On My Own," and "Someone Like You," and those were considered the tough songs. Now in 2014, the expectations are even higher than those placed on the people who graced the Broadway stages of the 1980's and 90's, so the "high notes" aren't C's or even E flats anymore; they're F's and G's.  Idina Menzel didn't really have other Idina's to try to copy when she was a little kid.  I know Bernadette Peters sure wasn't belting that high. The only thing that really ever touched those notes in that quality back then was Evita and it's just not exactly the same. Therefore, she's figuring it out for herself as an adult and taking a lot of flack for it while the kids of the future will reap the benefits of having had an imperfect performance to try to perfect.


In my mind, Frozen is (and I can't believe I'm saying this) pretty much God's gift to the next 2 decades of Musical Theatre performance because every child in the universe is now aiming for (and coming pretty damn close to) high E's when they attempt "Let It Go."  Remember my little student Amelia?  We've been working a lot on "mixing" which she's conceptually really digging and she brought the sheet music in… AND she can totally do it! And so can a few of my other pre-teens because they've been listening and trying to imitate like crazy! It's pretty wild!

Now that there is such a superhuman example of vocal work in the style of Musical Theatre out there and accessible to kids, we're going to be hearing some pretty sick vocals in the years to come, and the high notes written into the musicals of the future are going to be in the stratosphere because those kids who practiced "Let It Go" in 2014 will be crazy singers in 2030 and composers will recognize that!

So while Disney gave Idina Menzel an almost impossible task tonight, her courageous performance (seriously now... admit you'd be having a major IBS episode if that were you) is pioneering a movement of Musical Theatre that will be unreal once it happens in like…10 years.  She teaches us to remember to appreciate live performances and reminds us that if we DON'T sound like the recording that we shouldn't be too, too hard on ourselves.  It's something to strive for but it's not something that's exactly realistic.  It's quite literally immortal, so Let It Go!

I leave you with this video of a segment from Good Morning America that was aired this week!  It's kind of magical that this many kids are inspired to sing!  (But whoever raised the song a step or two is evil!!!!)  If you liked my post, check out my previous posts and sign up to get updates delivered directly to your inbox!

A WINTRY MIX- What We Can Learn from "Frozen"

So I finally saw "Frozen"... I inexplicably cried like a total loser during the song about the little snowman wanting to experience summer, but the singing was phenomenal in the rest of the movie and I want to show you how Frozen can totally serve as a mixing masterclass.  

Sisters from another Mixer.
You have to agree that Idina Menzel (Elsa) and Kristen Bell (Anna) sound very different, however, they're both mixing.

If they're both mixing, why do they sound so different?!
If you took away the hair and eye colors on these characters they actually would look exactly alike, but with those added details you can absolutely tell who's who, right? In regards to their voices, you could say the exact same thing for these characters, as well.  If you take away the little decorations here and there, they're both doing the same things and they only sound very different to us because each of them has her own spin on it.

Here are the similarities: 

Both sisters utilize oral twang (speakyness) in the lower parts of their range and nasality in the middle of their ranges achieving equalized twang throughout, making it sound like the characters have big, consistent voices up and down.  This is the part that's usually easier said than done.  We've talked about this technique in regards to my favorite people like Sherie René Scott in previous entries. (Yes, I did just bring Sherie into this post about Frozen.)   

Another mutual strategy used by both singers is tilting their thyroids during some or all of their music… Here's what that means:



You can tilt your thyroid by crying on "boo hoo" sounds; saying, "Hello, little birdie!" as if you're Snow White opening your window in the morning; or saying "I don't wanna!" like a brat.  Various additional anatomical ingredients make each of those sounds completely different from one another, but they all have the common denominator of a tilted thyroid.  So from now on, think of tilting your thyroid as being sad, whiny or sweet.   This is where the differences are, though because it depends on where and when the characters are choosing to tilt their thyroids. It's all about what's going on at the top.

Here are the differences:
Anna (Kristen Bell) tilts her thyroid the WHOLE time during every song whether it's low or high, twangy or not. This is what makes her sound really sweet (as she should because she's the ingenue).   She takes out the nasality and/or oral twang on her top notes so they tend to go a little more soprano-land like this.  Listen for the "ay" of today… and the "er" of "forever. They're not as speaky as the rest of the phrases.

So Anna is a Head-Mixer with some twang.  (If you haven't seen my post about the different kinds of mixes, check this one out.)  Contrastingly, when Elsa (Idina Menzel) is in her lower-mid range, she's not tilting her thyroid at all which makes for a more bored, dull sound that is, again, more appropriate for her character because she's jaded by having to hide her embarrassing secret curse for 10 years. She's not as sweet as Anna. (Men, you can actually hear this strategy in the Reindeer are better than People song, too.)   But when Idina DOES have a pity party on her high notes and gives into some thyroid tilt, she brings what she's doing on the bottom with her to the top and LEAVES THE BORING SPEAKY-NESS IN, as well, which makes her do this:

So it's not sweet at all; it's actually like an aggressive rock belt when it has those little added features of the twang (whiny as opposed to sweet) and the boring (cricoid tilt which we'll get into at a later date). 

You can hear the difference from the first part of the slide to the last note way up high.  It's like a boring speaky note for the word "I" and she glides into a witchy, whiny thing on the word "can't." So there's only a slight ingredient difference between the girls' high notes, but doesn't it make them sound completely different?   Elsa is what we'd call a Chest-mixer because her mix sounds closer to belting.

BUT GUESS WHAT.  THE SYLLABLE "DAY" FROM ANNA'S SAMPLE AND THE "CAN'T" IN ELSA'S SAMPLE ARE THE SAME… EXACT…NOTE.  THEY'RE BOTH AN E!  But they sound VERY different just because of a couple of minor adjustments! And neither are belting or singing in a legit soprano sound.  So they're both mixing!

Another major difference is that Anna SINGS AND SPEAKS with a very high larynx (Anna sounds childish) compared to Elsa who has a mid larynx, meaning she pretty much sounds her own age in both her songs and her dialogue. This is another reason why these performances are so fantastic.  The dialogue leads right into the songs and the voices don't change very drastically in the transitions which is an important lesson for us Break-Out-Into-Song-At-Any-Given-Moment-Folk to learn.  If you go into your song from your scene and your singing voice isn't connected to the speaking voice you were just using, you're going to get a lot of eye-rolls from the husbands in the audience whose wives just dragged them to the theater.  You need to fool those people into wondering WHEN you started singing, exactly.   Kristen Bell does that pretty flawlessly throughout the whole movie in all of her songs.  Take a look at the first few seconds of this one here:

Perfection! So if you didn't get a chance to see this one you should go if not just to get a little voice lesson from animated royalty and to see what's coming to Broadway! Long live Disney princesses! 

HOW I DIDN'T GET (AND AM NOT GETTING) SICK THIS YEAR

I'm not one for taking precautionary measures against getting sick but this year I didn't have health insurance and, as you can imagine, hearing words like, "Don't worry I'm on a Z-pack," or, "I'm not contagious," isn't very comforting.  As you can also imagine, I'm in a windowless room full of flying spit particles and carbon dioxide expelled by those suffering from sinus infections, strep throat and other lovely things ALL.  DAY. and I've probably built up an immunity from being exposed to so many germs… but this is how I've avoided catching your germs this year.  Yes, yours.  

SWEAT IT OUT:

When you feel something coming on, go do some cardio at the gym and get your blood circulating.  You'll get your system moving so it can fight whatever is going on and you'll sweat toxins out.  Spray the machines you use first and always wash your hands immediately after.  Other people sweated THEIR germs all over that machine, too.   For double trouble,  I put EmergenC in my water bottle.  

USE YOUR HUMIDIFIER:

NYC apartment heat in the winter is the worst but staying hydrated while you're sleeping will help big time.  I just bought a humidifier and I love it, and it's amazing how much moisture can be held IN THE AIR.  I pour a full Brita pitcher in there every night and it's gone by the morning!  This is the one I have.  $29 at Bed Bath and Beyond.

NETI POT AND STEAM BEFORE IT GETS BAD:

This might be my own little neurotic thing, but in my experience with the Vicks Personal Steamer, it's only made matters worse… I like to believe it's because the heat incubates all the germs.  But the Neti pot is great when you feel something coming on because the salt water will sterilize things and stop it before it really starts screwing with your system.  Plus what you're probably trying to treat with the steamer in the first place is your irritated throat which is really being caused by things dripping down from your nasal passages.  So get down to the root of the problem and exterminate the boogers with the Neti Pot.  

Now, you may be saying, "I could never do Neti Pot."  Honestly, it's a weird concept but it's very easy.  Just use distilled water so you don't have to panic about brain-eating amoebas.  (Look, even kids do it.  It's really not a big deal.) 

STERILIZE:

What I really like to use when I feel something coming on is the Netipot followed up with a good gargle of mouthwash that you would normally use after you brush your teeth. Again, maybe one of my little neurotic things but if it can kill germs in your teeth why wouldn't it be able to kill germs in your throat!

TAKE YOUR VITAMINS:

This is a no-brainer, but I started taking vitamins last year and I do think they've made a pretty big difference.  I take the High Potency Multi from Whole Foods.    

DON'T DRINK AND SNEEZE:

If you're getting sick, your body needs to put its attention on fighting those germs, not digesting alcohol.  So it might suck but just resist the urge to drink.  Instead…

DRINK THE GREEN STUFF:

OK.  I told myself I would never eat, never mind DRINK, kale.  I finally tried this and I actually didn't mind it… and not only does it work for when you're getting sick but it works for hangovers, guys.  Hangovers.   I've tried a few of them and I like the companies LoveGrace, Blue Dog, and even the Green Smoothie from Trader Joe's is pretty decent.  (The Trader Joe's one is the hangover cure, just so you know… not that I've needed it or anything...)

SLEEP:

Go to bed.  Seriously.  Your body needs it to fight off whatever's going on in there.  And don't forget to turn the humidifier on :)

IT'S A QUIET THING, CHARLIE BROWN!

Happy New Year!
This year I made some resolutions but one is to uphold a resolution I made back in July of 2013.  A Half Year Resolution, if you will.

Recently I've been noticing a common theme coming up again in the studio (and even OUTSIDE of the studio) and it's something that I really struggled with in my own way, as well, up until this summer when I developed my Half Year Resolution and things are going much better.
The issue at hand is this:  Allowing close people in our lives to turn something that makes us happy into something that makes us unhappy.

If you're a singer or performer, I'm sure you've come in contact with someone along the way who, upon showing them something you're proud of, makes a comment that throws you into the depths of self-doubt. "That note was funny." "Your voice is really nasal." "You're so loud." "Is it supposed to sound that way?"  And something that once was fun is now not fun anymore.  So you stop.

I've been hearing a lot of these stories lately around singing in particular and, although somewhat indirectly, I could totally relate. I luckily am too psycho to care about the comments I've heard about my singing voice, but I certainly could relate to regrets about sharing something important with someone who didn't have the capacity to appreciate it for whatever reasons. I finally found a way to dig myself out of the holes created by the negativity grenades that have been tossed my way, so I want to share with you how I did it, how it's going and how you can do it, too, in relation to your singing or anything else.

This summer I read a book that I actually chose as one of my top Mixie Picks back in December.  It's called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.  I discovered her TED talks this year, read her book, took an online class with her and basically try to live by her mantras and remind myself of them every day.  One thing in particular that she says in her book was immensely helpful to me in sort of a backwards way in regards to the aforementioned issue, and it has changed my life in a huge way.  She said this pertaining to stories of shame and vulnerability, but I found it to be equally helpful pertaining to stories about joy.

Brené says:

"Our stories are not meant for everyone.  Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share:  'Who has earned the right to hear my story?'"




I am a REALLY hard worker and when I have work-related victories I like to share them with the people I care about.  I went through years of working so hard and (thankfully) being rewarded occasionally whether it be my Master's Degree, a job offer, a raise... feeling totally elated and proud, and then calling someone to share my happiness only to have it swatted down. "Oh.  Did you know somebody over there who helped you get the job?" "It's just non-equity though, right?" "That's all it pays?" Or the dreaded "Wow, congratulations…*eyes glaze over *"

And then it's not a happy thing anymore.  It turns into guilt, doubt and questions of self-worth.   Should I not have wanted this? Did I deserve it? Maybe this isn't as good as I thought it was. Maybe I'M not as good as I thought I was. Maybe this isn't for me after all.

And so before I read this book, I went through a period where I stopped telling people about the things that made me happy.  It took me days, weeks and sometimes months or even years to let people know I was dating someone, got a part in a show, got a job… all so I could sit in my own happiness for a while and not let it get spoiled.  I can't tell you how many times I had Liza's rendition of "A Quiet Thing" in my head this year.


And then I read this book and realized I WAS on the right track but I really had to adjust something.  Here is my abridged, elementary school lesson plan version.

This is You.

Think of it this way.  You're Charlie Brown.











Charlie Brown has MANY friends.

In almost every episode, Charlie Brown goes to Lucy for advice and confides in her because she's his friend.

And in almost every episode, he gets this in return:

 

He is continually seeking the support of a friend, and in return she continually sabotages him.  Why does he keep going back to Lucy? She's there, she's available, she is seemingly offering support, but we can see that this is repetitive behavior that needs to be changed.  We can't change Lucy's behavior because we're not Lucy, so we have to change Charlie Brown's behavior which is the bad habit of going to those who don't deserve to hear our story because they repeatedly prove that they will not give us what we want, need, or deserve to hear

We have to be responsible for protecting ourselves against potential football fake-outs and those who are just out to take our 5 cents.  BUT!  The lesson I learned from Brené's book is that we don't have to stop telling people our stories (or singing) altogether just because of one rotten Peanut.

We have to look around at where the real support consistently comes from:

It's Here!

Linus is always the voice of reason and, if you've seen the Charlie Brown shows, you know that the really meaningful conversations usually happen at this brick wall.   Linus is always supportive of Charlie Brown no matter what and he never makes matters WORSE.  He just listens and because of this he has, in fact, EARNED the right to hear Charlie Brown's story. 

You have to find your Linus and allow ONLY Linus to share in these experiences with you because your Linus will never make you feel badly about something you feel good about like the Lucy's in your life will.
This isn't to say you can't still be FRIENDS with Lucy.  Lucy is still fun to play baseball with… but maybe don't call her right away when you're asked to direct the Christmas Play or when the Little Red-Headed Girl sends you a Valentine… or even when she DOESN'T send you a Valentine!  Linus is always the one to call for that.

Many of us stop singing because we had a couple of people whose opinions we considered important make some stupid comments whether consciously or unconsciously about the quality of our work.  Maybe they were only trying to help, maybe they were jealous… but regardless of the reason for their comments, we still found them to be hurtful and they shut us up.  We don't have to stop singing or expressing ourselves entirely.  We just have to stop singing for THOSE PEOPLE and stop seeking the approval of THOSE PEOPLE.
Yes, your father might be a very important person in your life, but if he is the one who consistently makes vaguely critical comments concerning your high notes to the point of making you terrified to open your mouth at an audition, he isn't the important person to go to for SINGING-related stuff. Go to him for other things, but singing won't be one of them. It's hard work to keep things we're proud of to ourselves but it's well worth it.
It's easy to forget with our cultures dependency on social media sites that it's not exactly natural to announce our every move to our entire social circle.  It's our learned reflex to tell everybody we know everything about the things that make us happy and hope our friends click the "Like" button, but sometimes to protect our most prized moments, we have to fight the urge to post.  

In implementing this Half Year Resolution, I've learned to detect the football fake-outs early on and avoid them almost altogether.  I have been off of Facebook since September and honestly, I'm kind of loving it.  I haven't been going to my Lucy's as often with the stuff that's really important to me and so I've been much happier about my accomplishments, and my relationships with my Linuses are getting even stronger because I'm realizing that those people are trustworthy and will never take the football away when I try to kick it.  The brick wall is the place to be!

Happy New Year, everybody!

If you want to try Brené Brown's book, find it here on Amazon.com