LET'S BE PSYCHOANALYTICAL OF THOSE WHO ARE TOO CRITICAL

A couple of years ago I was in a Dirty Rotten Scoundrels kind of mood and I was doing some Youtube surfing.  I watched tons of videos of girls singing the same song from the show (Here I Am) and was just mindlessly listening until I came across this video.  I took a screen shot and have had it saved on my computer ever since.  Take a look at this picture:

There are so many things about this picture I would like to address.  So I'm going to make it like a football game for you and make all those crazy lines and circles on your screen indicating where I would like you to look. 

First Thing's First:  

This girl was clearly having an awesome time and wanted hits on her video.  She used tags like the name of the show and the name of the original singer, so it is clear that she wanted people to find and watch her.  And the first comment she gets is "Flat."  How rude is that.  A one word comment AND it's negative.

The singer thanked the critic and asked for them to elaborate!

The critic writes back: 

Ok now.  Let's go through the critic's strategy play by play:

A specific instruction:  "If you open your mouth more..."  

Is that even possible?  I think if this girl tried to open her mouth any more her jaw would snap. 

An esoteric instruction:  "...Reach a bit above the notes you'll end right on top and on pitch."  

So the critic would like the singer to constantly think of singing sharp so that she will meet herself half way right ON the pitch?  That sounds like fun.  And I'm sure she can be a great actor within her song if she's constantly preoccupied with trying to be sharp to compensate for her alleged flatness.

A backhanded Compliment: "The whole song is flat but otherwise nice."  

Wow.  

Validation of self:  "I played Christine at ----- theatre, we closed on Sat."  

The critic's recent experience in the role obviously makes her the authority on this song and all singing, for that matter.

Now, maybe this song was flat.  Maybe if this critic had a chance to work with the girl in person and literally unhinged her jaw, it would sound better.  (In my opinion, it was probably flat because her mouth was TOO open, but this girl can think what she wants to think.)  Or maybe YouTube is making her sound flat!  That is entirely possible.  Regardless, we need to remind ourselves that there are idiots out there in the world who are in (sometimes self-elected) authoritative positions and they will offer us criticism and/or feedback... and a lot of the time they don't even know what they're talking about. 

What I think this girl did right:

She thanked her critic and didn't defensively lash out at the person.  To the girl in the picture: If you are reading this blog by some weird chance, I commend you for your CLASS.  

She asked for a specific example of what the critic was talking about!  Brava!  When someone gives you a note that is so general it hurts, ask for a specific example of what they mean.  A lot of times they probably can't even give you specifics. 

On the same note, ask how they would advise you to fix it if you are in a class setting.  Again, a lot of the time they probably can't even tell you.  They'll probably even be taken aback and start stumbling on their words because they'll realize they don't know what they're talking about.   Then question whether this person is even worth listening to if they're that inarticulate.  

The girl kept the video on youtube.  It is still up. 

She deleted the comments!  Get rid of that shit! Who needs it!?

Unfortunately we run into people like this critic a lot.  They might make us want to die in the moment when we read their comments or hear their notes after we've worked so hard on a song and presented it in a class or on a stage, but those people are destructive and not worth our energy.  My instinct is that the critic probably has some issues, don't you think so?  If she were so confident in her own performance she would be repeatedly watching a video of herself and not ragging on other girls on YouTube who didn't ask for her opinion in the first place.

I did a little more Youtube surfing and this is what I found on someone else's video of the same song.  The 16 year old singer was asking what people thought of her possible college audition song (Here I Am).  Looks like someone has a negative commenting fetish:

So, to quote my great Aunt Pinky: "Consider the source!"  (I know, I know.  You're so distracted by the fact that my aunt's name was Pinky that you can't even take me seriously anymore.  Her name was really Madeline but we called her Aunt Pinky... When I was three years old she pushed me in the pool when I didn't have swimmies on, and then she claimed she taught me how to do a swan dive and the backstroke. I was totally drowning but it was like a hazing. She did that to every single niece and nephew at some point.  Here she is:

Ok enough...  But really...   Her famous motto was right.  "Consider the source!")  Who exactly is making this comment? Is it someone who really has the capacity to make an impact on your life? And even if they do happen to be someone semi-important...  does this person really have you in their best interest by making a negative comment?  Take a look at what this person is putting out there in the world and ask yourself if you want to be a bi-product of their negativity.  If not, move on and find someone who would be happy to help you become what you want to be without inserting their own insecurities and resentment in the process.  There are too many things for us to worry about in our own lives.... we don't need other people's crap, too.

Give all you've got... accept what you get back with grace... and consider the source.   

And I leave you with this: